While packing and throwing away things in preparation for the big move, I found an old diary of mine from years ago, written before I had 3 children. I flipped through it and read some of the entries. It was quite emotional going through them. I could almost relive those feelings even though my feelings towards those same issues have changed so much and I could almost not identify that person with the person I am today.
I almost bemoaned the youthful dreams and aspirations I expressed in my diary back then, before age, circumstance and the passage of time and life experiences sent most of them to the back burner. To be at a time when almost anything was possible. Those days will never come back, and in a way, I almost felt a sense of loss.
Then again, I also found myself shaking my head and smiling at my entries, thinking to myself… No, almost telling my younger self, “Stop it, you silly girl!” at those thoughts I once held… Those strong feelings, almost childish by comparison to what I feel today about life, people, and myself, seem quite inane, petty and myopic by me today.
I know about this thing where you write a letter to your future self, but only open it in say 10 or 20 years’ time. I know the impact it can have for that moment when you finally open that letter. See what it is, and feeling kind of wonderful and strange at the same time, encountering that individual – the you back then – who is almost a different self.
I just needed a reminder so I can get going with myself and the kids. Timely article, but also… You know, you don’t really need a teacher to do that for you. I will be doing this for my kids. And unless I die before the 20 years… Well actually, that could well happen to the teacher. I wonder what sort of emergency back up plan does he have for that possibility, or will so many of his pupils’ letters get lost or be disposed of… For me, it’s probably either include that in a will or something. Hmm… Time capsule wouldn’t work as we don’t own a house yet! Something to think about…